How do we come to terms with the awareness of undesirable traits in our parents?
For many of us, growing up, our parents (or maybe parent, singular) is the knower of all and can do no wrong.
So what happens when we start to really see things from the adult perspective? See both sides of a marriage? and what happens when you give yourself permission to draw from your own life experiences without assuming you know less than the pair that gave you life.
I think we slowly start to work things out, but still want to believe that they’re superhuman or magical because they always knew the answers or always made us feel safe… But in the end, they’re just another set of perfectly flawed, learning, growing humans. Just like me. They’re not the same people they were at my age, and they’re not the same people they were yesterday… And they’re certainly not perfect.
Trying to keep the disappointment of this fish-slap of reality at bay is, no doubt, challenging… And the transition from rose coloured childhood glasses into clear, adult frames might cause some friction and hurt feelings… But it’s a crucial part of becoming your own human.
This bit is the hardest for me. We spend so much of our childhood trying to live up to our parents expectations that we feel like we’re throwing it back in their face when we say (verbally or otherwise): “thanks for the guidance and advice, but I’m gonna do it this way; because that’s what’s best for me right now”…
“I release myself from the expectations and limitations of my parents in order to become the truest version of myself”