3 good thingz 

Has anyone ever tried this exercise? Been given it at work, or school, or by a psychologist, or found it on a random site and given it a go?

I have mixed feeling about it… On one hand, I love it. A gratitude jar or a three good things journal is an amazing exercise in noticing life’s blessings, in beginning to combat negative thoughts that are contributing to depression, and in showing an energetic appreciation for the good/ beautiful things/people in your life. 

On the other hand, my inner critic grabs hold of it and uses it as another example of how I’m failing, or going to fail. It says things such as “you forgot to log your three good things yesterday Cherie. You didn’t stop at the end of the day and recall them all. Useless. You didn’t do it properly the day before either. Hey, you might as well not bother about today. There was nothing good anyway” and proceeds to give me a hundred bad things to focus on instead. 

But the truth is, how you find or acknowledge 3 (or more) good things doesn’t matter. What matters is that you’re looking for them! So you find them. 

I missed my train this morning because the traffic was terrible. But if I hadn’t have missed it I wouldn’t have spotted 2 cops laughing with one another at a station on the way, sharing a bag of McDonald’s. That’s my first good thing. 

That prompted me to think back through the morning. No, that’s not my first good thing. I got 6 minutes shy of 8 hours sleep. That happens at most once a week for me… So THATS my first good thing. Then I remember seeing my cat exploring under a blanket trying to find a little cave to sleep in for the day. That’s my second. But wait… Why is she rummaging under a blanket? BECAUSE ITS RAINING! Scratch everything. Waking up in the wee hours to the sound of rain is my first good thing. So I’m up to 4 already. And I’m not even at work. 

I don’t need to review these tonight, I’ve taken the moment, the millisecond to acknowledge and appreciate them at the time they occurred. I’m finding beautiful, wonderful things in the world. 

The negative things will shout at you. It’s the positive ones that politely whisper or use their inside voices. YOU have to be their voice. Find a positive moment and shout about it with every ounce of your being. BE the positive thing for the person sitting next to you on the train. Add to someone’s list of good things while adding to your own. 

I’m writing this because I’ve been struggling to find good things over the last few weeks. But when I look at it like this, it’s not that they haven’t been there, it’s just that I haven’t noticed them. My cat still did cute things. People on train stations were still happy and fun, I’ve had enough sleep a few other times… But I didn’t hear them. They were all there but then negative thoughts were shouting at me so I didn’t hear them. I hadn’t stopped, for just a moment to hear all the positive whispers. There’s always thousands of them. The negatives are fewer. Just louder. 

Take a moment. Adjust your crowns and turn the volume down on the negatives and listen out for the positives. 

Give it a go. Look for 3 good thingz today. Just notice them at the time. See what it does to your body, to your mind, as you notice them. 

Current negative thoughts 

How can I be a beacon of positivity and hope when I’m struggling to find the energy to be positive in my own life?

How can I be sure I’m not just playing the victim and feeling sorry for myself in my current situation?

I won’t find a mental health job. 

I’m going to fall into financial ruin when I go part time/if I quit my job/ because reasons. 

I’m going to fail this subject at uni. 

I feel so numb that I’ve started to tingle. 

I don’t want my new psychologist to help me because I don’t feel like I SHOULD feel like this, therefore I SHOULDNT need help. 

I’m a fraud and a hypocrite, because I tell people to be ok with not being ok, yet I’m berating myself for it… Right now…

If I don’t have a positive message at the end, no one will read/enjoy/get anything out of my blog. 

I’m weak because I can’t suck it up and find the good in the job I’m not enjoying. 

I’m feeling so sorry for myself in this job that I can’t even fathom being excited for an interview for a job I actually want… So how could I possibly get one? 

I’m not even going to try to finish this on a positive note. This is a selection of the things currently flurrying around my mind and I’m feeling so defeated by the workday that I can’t even be bothered countering any of them with rational positivities and truths. 

This is how I feel. This is what I’m thinking. This is not a good time right now. And I’m going to tell myself (but maybe not quite believe it) that that’s ok. 

Thoughts from the paddock at 9pm

The sky is bigger here. 

I feel like I have more space to breathe. 

It’s so incredible how sheltered my parents property is. We’d joke about it when we first moved there, but I think it started to affect us. In a little valley, flanked by hills, a mountain and endless trees, it was easy to forget about the rest of the world. It was easy to feel trapped there. 

I’ve always loved the night sky, but I keep being surprised at how profound the sky is here. I find myself looking up when I come out to do suppers, or breakfast if I’m up before the sun, and becoming almost overwhelmed at how infinite the sky is. Looking up at my parent’s house gave you a magnificent sky, with very little light pollution, but very little sky. It was like a carpet sample. I got the idea, and it was a cool representation, but the real thing; the actual whole grand foyer of the palace is beyond my wildest imagination. 

There’s more noise here. The road is close. And I can see the light from the town on the eastern horizon, but the sky is enormous, my horse is munching on his supper and my dog is needily curled up in my lap as I sit in pyjamas in the paddock taking in the sky and being present with my equines. The mosquitos here like the taste of me more… That’s disappointing. 

I’ve got a lot of processing to do. I think this house, this space, this property will facilitate so much growth in myself if I allow it to…