Sleepovers with the cats

Recently I haven’t been going to bed…

Like, I’ve gone to sleep, but not in bed. I’ll be on the couch or on a mattress on the floor in front of crappy late night Foxtel rubbish. I wake up pinned by a cat or two and unrested but ready for another day. For the first few days I thought it was because I stay up to turn stable lights off and give the equines a little something for supper and that I didn’t want to disturb my early-rising partner … But just today I realised that I’m doing it because I need time to myself… And this is the only time I’m getting it. 

My back hurts, I’m tired, and I’m so ready  for uni to be over and to not be studying anymore, but I’m stealing little bits of alone time wherever I can. 

I do a lot for other people. I work in the care industry (ok so I never posted about my new job. But it’s a thing), my JOB is doing things for other people. I horse-sit, I bird-sit, I dog-sit, I’m an open door to my friends literally and figuratively. And, while I tend to forget that it is the case, not having enough Cher time sees me getting irritable and withdrawn. 

Don’t get me wrong, things are great! My new job is great, I’m 2 weeks away from the end of my second last semester of my bachelor, and I live in an adorable little cottage with the man I love and our army of four-legged (and winged) children. But I need alone time. I can give a hell of a lot… But i do need to recharge in order to keep giving. Unfortunately, at the moment, that’s coming at the expense of a good, long nights sleep on an actual bed, not a strip of foam… 

I’m getting better at relaxing into lifes twists and turns, rather than trying to resist them and keep walking in my own straight line. That means that when i find myself a little time poor and working 5 days a week in a “4 days a week” job, having such limited daylight already, in Autumn, and trying to live like a college student and spend no money, to try to get ahead; I just go with it. Nothing is forever. Everything is temporary. The days will get shorter, then longer again, the wages will keep going in, week after week, getting us back on top, and I’ll sleep in the bed again… But right now, I need my late nights and subsequent second coffee per day, I need to fall asleep with the tv on and wake up a few times in the wee hours of the morning to change channel to something less bad… 

I’ve wanted to write a lot lately. I’ve wanted to share my thoughts about a new town, a new job and a new life… But there’s simply been no time. So I started to make time, apparently, and now with a cat reclined along my back and “Married at First Sight” on (and recording; not sorry), on a mattress on the floor in my adorable cottage on a misty hillside; here we are. A writing. And it’s short. And I’m not sorry.