Self-care vs laziness

For some reason, my titles are starting to tie in more with the content of the posts… Eh.

I think, over the course of this blog, I’m going to post about this again and again. And if you get sick of reading about it; I’m not sorry. This is important. And if it keeps coming up for me like it does, then it clearly needs to be talked about.

“Get up, finish that essay, ride Sam, work Immy, go to work. *nod decidedly*”

The reality was get up an hour and a half later than the alarm (that was still before 6.30, but not the 4.45 I’d been aiming for), feed horses, open essay, scroll through Facebook, yawn, feel depleted from placement yesterday, shut down computer, watch hoarders and eat toast.

And the guilt only flickered across me for a moment. I’m super proud of that. Every week, I’m making decisions based on what’s best for my mind, body and spirit. Sure, a horse ride would do me good, but there’s no reason I can’t ride tonight after work. And sure, having that essay submitted would be cool this morning, but it can also be submitted on Saturday. What I can’t put off is rest, recuperation and self-care. If I need rest now I need it now. Most things are flexible. Most things can be rescheduled. What I’m starting to realise, is that it shouldn’t be rest and self-care that keeps getting put off. …

I’ll find/make time to ride, I’ll push to get the essay finished, but I won’t push to get a nap in or take some relaxation time. That’s not “a priority”. WHY!? Why isn’t it a priority!? How do I expect to be able to carry on without proper rest!? I can’t help people if I’m not helping myself. You can’t pour from an empty cup is becoming my daily mantra. A constant reminder to listen to my body and care for it.

So now I sit in trackies on the couch, under a blanket, watching hoarders and eating Nutella toast and it’s not even 8am. Here’s to a morning of recouperation after a heavy day counselling yesterday.